Dating and Purging

I am now down 36 pounds, in a size 14 and had an amazing, hot date last week! OW OWWWW!  Many of you know that I have been "online dating" - but not seriously.  I have had profiles up for years because it is pretty comical the messages I get - like disgusting comical.  I post all the great ones on my Instagram.  Anywho, so I don't want to get too far into it, only because it's new and I don't want to get my hopes up... but the date was great and he told me how pretty and cute I was and how attracted to me he was (this was a 6 hour date, by the way... after 3 weeks of messaging/texting/one phone call.)  I play it off to be confident... but I'm getting used to the "new me."  I wonder in the back of my head "Is he really attracted to me? Am I good looking? Is my body attractive? Or is he after one thing?"   Right now I am getting close to how I looked in college - where men did hit on me - so I'm thinking maybe this is for real.  It is hard to tell - and I'm not going to let my curious mind show what is going on in the back of my head.  I just enjoy the compliments and the PDA - yes, PDA!!  Here I am, with this ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS man walking hand-in-hand, arm-in-arm, little kisses in a very popular place in town and I AM LOVING IT.  Like he is showing me off and not afraid to show people who he is out with.  (Seriously, his online pics do not do him justice - even my guy friends were with me when we met the first time and had a man crush on him that they admitted to me later haha... so I got their approval.)  Actually, now that I'm thinking about it - this may be the first real PDA I've had.  With other guys, it was private.  Newbie and I were walking down the street and we would look at each other and smile and he would say, "We just had a moment"  and "We just had another moment."  -- talk about making a girl melt holy moly!  There is your little tidbit about my date - hoping for another one soon... which better happen.  We're still talking so there is hope lol.

Here are some updated pics!  The first one is with my friend Bryan back in July 2012 - YIKES.  I actually just sold that dress this week!

Bryan and me, July 2012

March 20, 2014

This was the dress I ended up wearing for me and newbie's first date! Speaking of clothes - a few weeks ago I had a little bit of an emotional/anxiety moment.  I went to try on some clothes from my bags of "skinny clothes" and one after one, they were fitting.  I had a pile on my bed of all these new clothes that fit me and I had no idea where to put them.  I left them on the floor... managed to find spaces for a few of them... until yesterday.  I finally got the urge to go through my drawers and put clothes that were too big in a garbage bag to sell.  Filled the bag to the tippity top and took it right away to Clothes Mentor and sold 6 items.  Made $19.40.  I just had anxiety over getting rid of these bigger clothes thinking one day I would need them again.  I finally said NO, I AM DONE WITH THESE.  It was a huge step. HUGE step for me to do this.  A friend at school told me to keep them for when I get preggo one day... I just don't want to see them again... though It was a good idea but NO that leaves it there for me to fall back so I couldn't.  BOO YAAAAA.  

Hope to have another update soon!  Keep working hard my friends!  THIS IS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!  AND I'M 14 POUNDS AWAY FROM MY HALFWAY POINT! YEEEEEEEEEEAH BOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

OH OH OH! BEFORE I FORGET!!!  I DID MY 2ND 5K LAST WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!  Didn't take it seriously - went with a group of friends.  It was the Color Vibe 5k and we walked a lot of it and talked - but we did jog a nice bit of it, too!  Two 5ks down!!! 

March 22, 2014

"Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment." -- Drew Carey

Pictures Update

Good morning/afternoon/evening!  I am now down (just shy of) 32 pounds!!!  Weighing in at just about 208.  I started at 240.  Can't wait to get below 200!!!!!!!

  I have been keeping a PowerPoint presentation with pictures of my progress and without further adieu..... here is a look from July 2013 and January 2014.  Now, it still isn't pretty... but it's pretty progress!  Sooo if you aren't ready to see a big ole pale tummy, click out now...
















seriously........













here it comes!

It's pretty cool to see the tummy shrink!  My only thing is I don't know what to do about the back - it is pretty darn gross still and am afraid it won't be bikini ready for #bikiniby30.  I have been getting up at 4:30am every day before work to get my cardio in.  I manage to get in some weight training - a tiny bit.  I have also signed up for my second 5k with the ColorVibe Run and am totally stoked!  Going to do this one with some friends.  Our team is "No Teacher Left Behind"  ;)  That is going to be in March so I'm getting ready for that!  I'm working out 6 days a week these days.  I'm going to try and get it to 2-a-days but right now I'm so exhausted after teaching that I haven't made it in the evenings yet.  I just took over a new class and I have been there until 5-6pm every night.  After getting up at 4:30, working out, then teaching a bunch of 6-7 year olds, I'm wiped out.  I'm hoping after I get my new routines down that I should be getting the 2-a-days in very soon!  Less than 6 months to go until the big 3-0!  Ahhh!  

As an added bonus, my rump is getting a hump!  I'm pretty proud that i'm getting some definition down there...

Sorry for the wrinkles - it was before I put my pants in the dryer to de-wrinkle :) but look at that little bubble that's starting!

I also tried on my bikini from 2001 (yes, 13 years ago... still sitting in my drawer) that I wore in the privacy of my own home.  Now, I was able to get the top on (WOO HOOO) but it looks TERRIBLE so I chopped that bottom half off.  Hopefully I'll be ready in 6 months to wear it all out in public!  My dear friend Molly also told me to turn that thumb around and smile - she's right.  This is progress!!!!  And hey, I got the darn thing on and it covered my whole bottom lol.  I have come a long way and still have a long way to go!

"A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way." - Allen Klein 

Psychology

Mercy me the changes that have happened the last three months!!  Right now I am down 28 pounds - 28-ish % of the way there!  I ran a 5k in September... finishing in just under an hour. I wogged my way to the finish - with tears at the end.  Such an accomplishment for myself!

I also did more shopping in my closet - emptying a bag and a half out of my clothes that were too small a few months ago, and even scored a few dates!  Which brings me to today's post: the psychology of weight loss, kind of.

My whole life, like many people, my weight has been up and down.  I've been the girl that guys hit on at the bar.. and the one that guys wouldn't give the time of day to.  You have possibly seen on television different stories of how a beauuuuuuutiful person will go in a store (insert your favorite Julia Roberts Pretty Woman movie quotes here...) and be waited on hand and foot.  That person will then leave the store, get all dolled up in a fat suit, go back in the store and be treated like trash.  Well, right now I feel like Julia Roberts after her little makeover and I'm telling people "BIG MISTAKE!".  In college, I wasn't thin by any means, but there were times when I looked comparable to other gorgeous girls I was out with and would get hit on.  Then, in more recent years I obviously put on the weight. I, myself, have been the same outgoing chica that you all know and love ;)  but I wasn't getting the same.. hmm.. feedback? as I was getting as a "more fit" version of myself.  I'm getting to the point now where guys are starting to talk to me again.  I can't help but wonder if these guys would have been the ones to hit on me 30 pounds ago.

One example I'll use is recently a guy from "my past" came into the picture.  30 pounds ago, I just moved back to town and was looking for friends to go out with like the good ole days.  He had basically fallen off the face of the earth/had plans/was tired <insert excuse here.>  Now, all of a sudden, I show up to the bar one night and he's hanging all over me saying "ooooh we go back so many years!"  We hung out the next day because I wanted to watch football... he asks why nothing ever happened with us... and then walked me to my car, kissed me and wanted to hang out later that week.  Umm.. what?!  Wherrrrrrrre were you a few months ago?  I can't help but think that my weight affected his feelings.  Unless, by chance, alllllllll those other times he really did have something going on.  Do I think that's the case? Not at all.  Mama didn't raise no fool.  I just find it very interesting and thought provoking.  I had this convo with one girlfriend that was kind of in the same boat as me.. and another one who is as thin as can be and the thought had never crossed her mind.

Another example is just people in general... they seem to be nicer to me.  Before, some would basically make plans in front of me and not invite me.. which is TOTALLY fine.. but now it's like "Oh, hey! You need to come out with us tonight!"  Or they shout from across the bar "HEY JEN!"  when I wouldn't get a wave before - but just some look.

My thin peeps may not understand this... or maybe you have something similar.  Anywho, as always, curious on your thoughts and if you've noticed the same!

Oh - I also tried a Power Plates exercise and the Range of Motion machine.  YouTube videos of those crazy contraptions...

"Persevere and you will win the prize."

Shopping in My Own Closet!

Another exciting update - down another 2.5 pounds making it 22 total!!!  I'm nearly a quarter into my goal of 100ish pounds and I'm only two months in.  I HAVE TO KEEP THIS UP!!  As I said before, I was on the Whole30 lifestyle.  A friend of mine came to town and I kept it up for the most part - but did go off the lifestyle for a few days.  I had a few beers and a mojito along with some conch fritters and key lime pie (we were in Key West.)  I was nervous to see how my body would react since I hadn't had any crap food for a month.  I did have some lettuce wraps as well.  My body took it just fine, thankfully.  Then I decided to go back on for another 30 days.  May as well since I'm feeling great.  Within the last week, I've noticed my skin is as soft as a baby's bottom and my nails are getting hard again.  For a little bit I thought they were getting a little brittle and I thought that may be from cutting milk out of my diet... but all is better now.  I just need to look up what other foods have calcium besides milk to keep my bones strong!

There's me and my BFF on the Key West Express heading back to Southwest Florida.  I can see thinner legs and a thinner mid section.  My face is also thinning out.  Well, I'd hope so after 20 pounds :)  

After today's weigh-in, I was curious if any of my bagged clothes (sizes 10-16) would fit.  I found some white capris - SIZE 14 (Sonoma brand which I think run on the bigger size) and a few shirts and a skirt!  Put them in my "I can wear now" drawer and picked out a new outfit for work tomorrow. :)  A lovely salmon colored skirt with a cute black top.  HOLLER!  

I have to say that I was super excited to get ready for my Penn State football... and it's crazy how my mind has changed.  I love beer!  Something was different this past Saturday...I didn't want it.  You're thinking, "Jennifer, no beer during Penn State football? Who are you?"  I don't know!  It's crazy how my mind is changing along with my body.  I can't explain it.  Did I have a beer? I did... because it was free... and I didn't even really enjoy it.  WHAT?!  I also felt I needed to order more since I was in a restaurant taking up a table to sit for four hours and watch a game.  I've been a waitress and I know they rely on tips so in my mind I felt like I needed to order it (even though it was free for a promotion) so I could tip them more.  Looking back it makes no sense because I could still tip more without the beer.  I'll remember that for next week... I don't haaaaaaave to order it just because it's free and I'm there.  I can have a water or iced tea and just leave a few extra bucks. I think I was curious to see how it would taste, too, after changing my eating habits.  Now I know :)

Now, I debated on whether or not I wanted to put up these next pics.  I decided to do it because, after all, this is a weight loss blog, and I am proud of what I've accomplished so far.  With that said, it is of me in a sports bra and shorts so if you don't want to see that, X out right now.  For those that care to keep track and actually see the progress I've made, scroll on down.......

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deep breath.

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and some of you thought my showing my scale number was brave... lol....

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can't believe I'm about to share this....  are you sure you want to look?

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July 28, 2013 and August 28, 2013

There I am... 20 pounds down!  I can see my face has thinned... I have more neck to see... even my chest now that I'm checking myself out... I can see a difference there.  Buh bye D cups...   The gut -- I can see on the right some more "definition" instead of just one big blob... it's very small, but I can see it.

Well, not much of a change there... but that bottom roll is less... rollish? Very small change.  BUUUT it's a change!

Here I can see a change in my booty.  It has slimmed down... which I noticed in my tankini swim shorts -- THEY SAG!  Good thing there is a skirt thing around it to hide it until I get a new suit (hopefully bikini!!!) next summer :)  It'll do for winter time in Florida :)

Phew, that's over with... and it only goes "down" from there :)

"The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken." - Samuel Johnson

This is Some Biggest Loser Stuff!

BOOM SHAKA LACKA -4.5 POUNDS THIS WEEK!!! 19.5 TOTAL!!!!!!!!!  220.5!  I swear, this Whole 30 lifestyle is amazing.  I have like 2 or 3 days left - technically - but I'm going to keep this up.  How can I not?  I was talking to my friend who told me about this diet and I was saying how when this is over I want to have a Publix sub.  my mouth is watering just thinking of it - but she just said how it isn't worth it.  Has she had one?  No, seriously - she is right.  Why would I go through this whole month and then throw it away with empty calories?  I need to keep this up for a bit longer - it's the best thing I've done for myself. Ever.  I may not be as hard core with worrying about every drop of a possible grain of sugar - I'm just going to be mindful.  I don't need that Publix sub, and right now I don't even want it.  I've had it before, I know what it tastes like.  It's a freaking sandwich.  "Food doesn't taste as good as thin feels."  And let me tell ya - I'm loving the way I feel in my tankini :)  So, sorry, Publix sub - you will have to wait.  I still have 40 pounds of weight loss to go so I'm not considered "obese" and then I'm just "overweight."  Ugh.  I. Can. Do. This.   I AM doing this.  CLICK HERE TO READ AND FOLLOW WITH ME.  PLEASE, IF EVERYTHING ELSE YOU'VE TRIED DIDN'T WORK, DO THIS NOW.  START TOMORROW.  OR TODAY IF YOU HAVE HAD THE FOODS YOU CAN HAVE.  It is such a great jump start.  Remember - you will feel like crap at first... then feel great... then feel like crap again... and then amazing.  AND THIS IS WITH MINIMAL WORKOUT!  IE: running around my first grade classroom.  OH which reminds me - sorry for not posting last week (I had lost 2 pounds) but forgot to write on my blog.. becauuuuuuuuse I WAS TOO BUSY SETTING UP MY CLASSROOM!!!!!!!!!!  YES! I got a job!!!!  It is a long term sub job for a mommy on maternity leave and I'm scheduled until November 1.  YES YES YES! I have never been so thankful to have been rejected by so many jobs.  I knew I was holding out for the right thing to come along and this is certainly it.  I have the BEST team to work with and I'm learning so much!  I don't know how I could have gone into this teaching right away with all that is happening in the classroom.  Holy moly.  Anywho... I'm loving it.  I have some real cuties in there that just make me laugh.  So fun!

On today's menu I tried something new for dindin.

Shrimp Tacos

Now, you're thinking TACOS?! JENNIFER! I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T HAVE GRAIN!!!! Oh oh oh let me tell you the magic of cauliflower - that is the most versatile vegetable on this planet.  I have made so many meals with it.  And it was so easy!  Here is the recipe for the tortillas. And oh yes, they hold like a soft shell taco and don't crumble apart which is what I was afraid of.  Here is the recipe for the shrimp - which obviously cut down and I didn't put in the sugar.  

So there you have it!  The last two weeks for ya!  My goal was to be down 20 pounds by next weekend when my seester comes to visit.  Only half a pound to go! Think I can do it in one week?  I know I can :)  Bon appetite!  Feel free to ask me any questions - I've had people I haven't talked to since high school message me... and others looking for guidance and tips.  Spread the love!!

"The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!" - Marvin Phillips

13 Down!!!!

WOOOOO HOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I'M AT MY LOWEST WEIGHT IN AT LEAST TWO YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!! Lost 3 pounds this week!  13 total!!  9.5 in 2 weeks on the Whole9 lifestyle.  Annnnnnnnd perhaps the most exciting --  I FIT BACK IN MY TANKINI AGAIN!!!!!!!  My muffin top is down to a mini muffin -- so I'll take it!!  Felt darn good swimming in it today, too.  Swam a ton of laps.  Such a great day.

Down to 227! WOOT WOOT!

Let's rewind.  This week, not so great.  Man, my head was pounding for a good three days.  A few other people complained about headaches as well so I'm not sure if the carb flu came back... or if something was in the air.. or if it was "mother nature" visiting me this week.  Either way, the three days sucked.  Wasn't as bad as my first carb flu day -- but the headache was awful.  I rarely get headaches so it was bad.  And, I hate taking drugs so I just let it go.  I only went to the gym twice this week.  I was hoping to go more -- but I ended up coming home to work on a cover letter for a very important job that I had the opportunity to interview for.  Cross your fingers for me -- I'm still waiting to hear... but, I did feel very comfortable in the interview that I landed like a boss... which is a start!

I found a few good recipes, too...

Meet my savior -- "french fries."  These tasty little morsels are made from jicama!  I had purchased the root veggie a few days ago because, well, why not? I've never tried it.  When I was looking up recipes I came across french fries. OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH let me tell you how AMAZING it was!  I had a bite of it raw -- crunchy and kind of like a radish but a tit bit sweeter.  When baked, it had the consistency of a french fry -- just what I needed!  Here is the recipe.  Try it.  I added a lil bit of garlic salt or powder as well. On my shopping trip today I picked up another one!  Can't wait to have more fries later this week!  Even mom liked it -- and she's quite picky when it comes to food.

Also on the menu this week....

"Chicken Alfredo."  I nearly followed the recipe -- I don't like onions, so I kept those out.  And instead of blending it all, I pounded the cashews to break them up a bit because I wanted some crunch... and put everything in a sautee pan to warm it up.  Boiled the (frozen) chicken breasts (instead of thighs), baked the spaghetti squash.  Put it all together and voila!  Delish.  Here is the recipe for this!

Starting week 3 on Whole9.  Can't wait to see what this brings!!!!!

 "You've got to say, I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly enough I can have it. It's called perseverance." -- Lee Iacocca

Week 1 on Whole9

Well, what a crazy week it has been!  I felt like crap at dinner of day 1 -- then the rest of the week I have felt just fine!  So fine, in fact, that I cheated and weighed myself (you aren't supposed to during the first month, but I couldn't help myself) AND I'M DOWN 6.5 POUNDS IN ONE WEEK!!!!!!! 10 POUNDS TOTAL! I'M AT 10% WEIGHT LOSS!!!!! The kicker? I DIDN'T GO TO THE GYM ONCE THIS WEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I took a few 10-14 minute walks at work for a break and swam a few days in the pool. That. Is. It!  I was so curious to see what simply changing my diet would do and I lost 6.5 pounds.  CRAZY!  Just by keeping some dairy, sugar and grains out.  Starting tomorrow I'm back to the gym.  Can't wait to see what I lose this week.  It makes me wonder if my body will plateau or if I'll gain with putting on muscle.  Either way, clothes are fitting better and I feel good.  Bought some new workout shorts today, too :)

So what did I eat?  Well, for breakfast every day I had my egg bake that I told you about last time.  Lunches were either salads or leftovers from dinner.  One night I had "fried rice" made out of cauliflower with a pork chop and sugar-free applesauce. Omg, amazeballs.

Cauliflower fried rice

Another night I made pancakes out of a very ripe banana and 2 eggs.  Throw some cinnamon on top and OH. MY. GOD.  Tasted just like a banana bread pancake.  Next time I will be add some nuts to it!  They were so incredibly moist and just delish.  I can't wait until my bananas are ripe enough where I can do this again. MMMMMMMM

banana pancakes

Last, but not least... my room is a disaster area.  I moved to Pennsylvania for a few years.. acquired new clothes.. moved back home and had no room for anything.  So, I have bags of clothes ranging from size 10-16.  I can not WAIT to get back into my old clothes again. I look at these suckers every day and I can't wait to rip into them and wear them... soon :) 

soooo many clothes

I put together my fat pic from 1998/2000... to losing I think 50 pounds? I'm not even sure.. but the pic next to it is prom 2001 - my junior year of high school.  And, I still have that dress.  I WILL get back into it.  Not sure where I'll wear it to... lol... but I just want to zip it up again.  

Thanks again to all my friends, family, and coworkers for supporting me and helping me through this.  Really, the week was not bad.  I've had some people question this "fad diet" and it isn't.  Those people have never been more than 100 pounds overweight.  They can eat what they want and not put on a pound.  I don't expect them to understand.  Am I scared that after these 30 days I may fall into a sammich at lunch every day routine? Yes, I am.  But, it takes 3 weeks to make a change.  This will be 4 :)  I plan to keep it up -- but of course I will be adding back in things like cheese every now and then.  This is changing my lifestyle.  This is a 30 days "cleanse" of sorts.. but will last so much longer.  I've been finding so many yummy recipes.  Friends have given me recipes for pizza that I can't wait to try. 

Just keep going. Everybody gets better if they keep at it.