Before...

Before...
Las Vegas May 2011

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Exciting Updates!

5 pounds down since moving home! WOOOO HOOOO! Went and bought some new shorts and a couple dresses for myself -- thanks to a gift card to Kohl's from my BFF, Nurse Molly!  Gotta love sales and coupons!

I went to Max-Wellness a week or so ago and picked up some coconut oil, vitamins, and fish oil. It started out on my girl's vacation with some of my BFFs from high school. They had mentioned B12 as a supplement to help with my weight loss. I had all intentions of adding that to my diet but I talked with a really nice lady who knew a LOT about the products in the store. She advised me to just start with a regular vitamin supplement and then in a week or two if I didn't feel I had enough energy to add the B12 for a little extra push.  Luckily I haven't needed to go pick it up though I don't really feel a difference in my energy level -- but I also haven't taken the vitamin every day.  I usually smash it and put it in my fruit smoothie.  The vitamin is all organic and doesn't have a pleasant smell buuuuut it's fine in my smoothie. Don't taste it at all.

The coconut oil also smells better than it tastes. I tried it just by itself and it had too much of an oily taste to it so I just add that in basically anything I'm cooking.  Eggs -- which sounds pretty gross but I figured what the heck? I needed to get it in so that's how I did it. Had an interesting taste to it.  If you like to try different foods, go for it.  If you aren't very much of a risk taker with foods, you probably won't like it. Luckily you can cook and bake with the coconut oil so it is very versatile. I also put this in my smoothie and it gives it a nice little coconut taste.

The fish oil -- let me tell you all something. I grew up in Florida but I can't stand fish. I've tried a few kinds but just isn't my cup of tea -- until I went on vacation last week and tried grilled salmon. Holy moly I LOVED it!!!! My other BFF, Marissa ordered it at the Salty Dog Cafe in Hilton Head, South Carolina and I remembered my friend who also doesn't like fish said she loved salmon so I wanted to give it a whirl. I was shocked with how it didn't taste like fish at all!  I said it tasted like a burger and chicken. Weird, right? The oil(?) had a resemblance to the grease of a burger but like the consistency of chicken. I don't know how else to explain it lol. Back to the fish oil -- I opted for the oil because I am not a good pill taker. I was worried it would taste fishy but it doesn't at all. It is lemon flavored and I also add this to my smoothies.  This is something you can't use to cook but can put on salads and other food.

From taking these supplements I've noticed my skin has a nice glow to it and is softer. Nurse Molly said I should notice it in my hair as well but I usually keep my hair up since I'm still looking for a job (shameless plug!) while I'm in school. I'm cutting my locks and donating them to Locks of Love on Friday.

Another pretty cool thing -- I received an email from a woman who works with Beachbody (P90x ring a bell with any of you? They created it!) and they've been reading my blog and would like me to write about their products so this could be cool!  Waiting on more information so I'll let everybody know if this is something I decide to take on.

"More die in the United States of too much food than too little." -- John Kenneth Galbraith

Friday, August 10, 2012

I Want an Olympic Butt

I'm back in Florida my friends and followers! The last week or two I've been doing nothing but cleaning up and putting away three years of my life from Pennsylvania back into my tiny room. What a concept. I have BAGS of clothes of all different sizes. Threw out a bunch of old. Was able to sell 1 shirt out of tens to Plato's Closet. The rest will be heading off to Goodwill in the coming days. Can't believe they didn't  buy more -- I have some nice stuff compared to some junk they sell in there!

I've been doing pretty well with the whole working out thing again. I pretty much failed the last year. Well, I wouldn't say fail -- maybe I would... but I definitely wasn't in it as I thought I would be. I did better during football season and that was my biggest fear! Go figure? I've since rejoined a gym here in my neighborhood so I really have no reason not to go -- and I've been every day since I signed up on Monday. High 5! I'm down 2 pounds since moving back home. We're on the third scale now and it reads 238. So I'm down 2 pounds since starting this a year ago. Pathetic. Really, pathetic. I have nobody to blame but myself. Thought it would have been easier up in Pennsylvania. Who was I kidding? Between going out to eat so much and having people up just about every weekend and out at the bars it's no wonder. Also, working from home didn't help... but I was out walking/wogging many mornings... until the rain came and it was hotter than Hell and our air conditioning wasn't keeping up... But that job is now over thank goodness and now I'm home and jobless for the time being until I get myself under control and start up school and see what my schedule is like. Then I'll find myself a nice part time job to help pay the bills. 

Anyway, enough about that. Back to the good stuff. Like I said, I've been exercising just about every day I've been home. In the pool, out for walks, and at the gym kicking butt. This week I've been on the elliptical for 33 minutes and then I do the weight circuit every other day. Next week I'll change up the cardio because I don't want my body getting used to anything. We all know that halts the weight loss and we certainly don't want that. :) Oh, about the title here with the Olympic butts... my goal is to have a butt like the beach volleyball players. Just about perfect aren't they? Who wants to go play? lol

I love my gym. There's never been more than four or five people at a time and it's all people who have -- shall we say -- retired. I smile seeing the old folks walk in with their khaki shots, shirt tucked in and wearing a belt to exercise. Gotta love it. Nice folks and you don't feel judged. Never a wait for machines. It's a peaceful workout where I can focus on myself.... and the one young guy I've seen in there. 

I took some pictures while there -- and while nobody was around because that would be a little awkward wouldn't it? lol. So here is how I looked as of Tuesday on my second day at the gym.











I don't know why these are showing up sideways... I edited them so they wouldn't and they show up fine on my computer. If anybody knows what the issues is, please let me know.

I'm not sucking in, just letting it "all hang out" as they say. Can't wait to see some changes. As for now, time to gulp down some more water and get ready for dinner!

"If you don't do what's best for your body, you're the one who comes up on the short end" -- Julius Erving

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Bathroom Snafu

Oops apparently I forgot to publish my last post! Sorry about that. You can catch up on all the old news.....

**a couple weeks ago***

Hello readers! I know it's been a while since the last update. I was studying for two huge tests that I needed to pass in order to get accepted into a teaching program.. GOOD NEWS! I PASSED THEM BOTH! So now I'm just waiting for a few other things to go through and then hopefully my acceptance letter will be following shortly.

I also had a little snafu in the bathroom. I managed to trip over my scale, sending it up in the air and it landed upside down. Needless to say, it wasn't in working order. I joined the State College Freecycle group and somebody had a scale they were no longer using and gave it to me. This one is digital so it is easier to read. When my roomie stepped on, it showed she was 3 pounds heavier than her last weigh in. For me this morning, it read 235.5. Even if I was 232.5, that would still be a 3 pound gain for me since last time. (I'm not surprised with how I ate in Philly 2 weeks ago for the tests.) So we'll just start here and go DOWN from there.

I've worked out 6 days in a row!! I love the new app I use -- Endomondo. It tracks how far I've gone and how many calories I've burned. So far this month I have walked/wogged/ran 23.17 miles. Pretty exciting to see my statistics on the site!!

This morning was the first morning workout I've had in a while. I've been waking up to rainy mornings the last week or so. Although, earlier this week I went out for a run in the rain and it was amazing!! I went without my glasses on so I could "see" -- (I'm blind as a bat without my glasses on) but it was better because I couldn't see if there was a hot guy up ahead and maybe stop so I didn't look a fool. I just kept going past whomever was out there. It was quite refreshing. I hope to keep improving my time around the 2.3 miles I usually go.


**back to today**

That should answer some questions lol.  As for today, I did my first two-a-day in a while. Got up at 7:30 and went for a wog and then went again after work. 2.2+ miles each time. I also did some crunches and some leg exercise. Not sure what it's called but I got down on all fours and kicked my leg out and brought it in 10 times, then did the opposite leg. Did a couple reps of that.. Tightening the hiney! Pretty soon you'll be able to bounce quarters off of it. I can definitely feel a tight muscle underneath the extra padding there.

Speaking of the hiney -- (and warning, honest Jen is coming out here...) you know what is super annoying? Starting to run and then feeling like you have to poop! Nothing ruins a good start at running like having to stop because your colon decides to start working again. Ugh so annoying. Stop saying "that's gross" -- you know the saaaame thing has happened to you. Especially if you are new to working out. I don't know the magic behind it, but your muscles aren't used to working and once they feel a lot of movement, they say, "Hey there! Woo hoo! You're moving us all around so we're gonna move the poop right on out of you!"  Then once you start working out for a few days, that feeling goes away -- thank goodness. So, if you're new to the whole "working out" ordeal and hate that you have to poop every gosh darn time you start to work out, it WILL stop. Today was just a random occurrence. lol.

Ok enough of poop and butt talk. Time to hit the floor and do some more ab and leg work.

"I would rather be covered in sweat at the gym than covered with clothes at the beach". -- unknown


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

FINALLY! Back to LOSING again!

WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO! You don't know the excitement that came across me this morning when the scale was tilting a lil to the left. Down a pound from last week! Which means I'm back to those 220s and hope to stay there -- but not for long, of course, considering my goal of 89-ish more pounds to go. Thanks for all the comments last week on the tips and tricks. My one friend reminded me that I may not be eating enough so I've been trying to add a few snacks throughout my day. I started a food journal to keep track of what I was eating -- that lasted a day before I forgot about it until now. Oops. But I did measure my body which I wish I would have done months ago. I wasn't sure where exactly to measure so I Googled and YouTubed a few places and here's what I'm doing:


Neck:  14.5
Bicep (Not flexing): 17
Chest (Biggest part across the biggest part of the boobies): 46
Waist (Belly button): 48
Hips (Biggest part of butt, heels together): 52
Thigh (Where arms land): 28.5
Calf (Thickest part): 16

Now, Dr. Oz measured the waist at a different part so I don't know where is really accurate, but I'm just going to go with right at the belly button. I have no idea what's normal (Waist for girls I think is 32 inches depending on where you measure.) I'll just keep track along the way. Not sure how often to measure that? Maybe once a month? Anybody else measure out there?

Now, what did I do different this week? Well, I climbed a mountain. Yep, for the second time I took a hike up Mt. Nittany with my roomie.



It was the perfect day with temperatures in the 50s/60s and not a cloud in the sky. It was half a mile up and half a mile down. Took us about an hour and a half -- that's counting the time we spent just looking off at the miles of beauty here in central PA.  We could see Beaver Stadium and the Bryce Jordan Center and I was thinking about all the great times I had in both places.


I also downloaded this new app called Endomondo. Just don't forget to turn on your GPS like I did -- I walked about 5 miles and it didn't count my travels. But, now I know. It tells you how far you've walked, pace and calories burned. Pretty neat to keep track of if you're out and about! I hear you can challenge friends to different activities, too.

When Molly and I were out on our evening walk a few days ago, we were talking about our bodies and the changes we were feeling. While walking downtown, I noticed my reflection that I had a butt starting to form again! Awesome! And there was less to grab! Weeeeee!!  (And no, I didn't cop a feel right there on the street...)

Now, I'm definitely one to make fun of people taking nothing but pictures of themselves on Facebook... especially mirror shots... (or on dating websites... ooooh do I have a field day with those... especially when they are taken in the bathroom and the guy has a picture of Johnny Depp above his toilet...but I digress.) I'm sticking my foot in my mouth for this one, but let's be real -- this is a blog about weight loss and I have to document it so I can tell if changes are being made and hopefully inspire others along the way to get healthy.


I am so unproportioned. All my weight is like right there in the gut. If you cover up the gut, I don't think my bootie is half bad. A nice lil bump starting lol. Decent legs -- not wonder people called me "chicken" in middle school. Lil legs and a big ole top. 


My calves are feeling mighty strong -- but I've always had decent legs... below the knee that is lol. I am also noticing a change in the thunder thighs -- not as much fat sticking out when I cross my legs so finally that is shrinking. Same with the love handles!  Just have to keep this up to keep them down.

Seriously, knees? Hello?

Can see a little definition starting up there. Let's hope this keeps on the same path DOWN!


"Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time." -- Mark Twain



Wednesday, April 4, 2012

FRUSTRATED!

I am so frustrated with this weight loss. Jumped up on the scale this am -- NO CHANGE AGAIN FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME. I don't know what the hell is going on. I should not be plateauing at 10 freaking pounds. We ate so healthy this week. I've been walking the past few days... last week was crappy out so I wasn't outside then. But C'MON! I don't get it. I really don't. It's been FOREVER since I've dropped a pound. I don't remember the last time I had fried food. We've been eating salads and chicken and soup... I don't get it. I'm not skipping meals... eating fruit every day. Hell, even cut down on bread. I use to have a sammich for lunch practically every day. Now I'm eating our leftover crockpot dishes or soup lately. Stress can't possibly be to blame for this though I know it has a part. We walked MILES in New York two weeks ago. I'm drinking hot tea, ice cubes in water, taking vitamins. Haven't had a sip of alcohol since New York.  HELLLLLP MEEEEEEEEE

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie

Monday, March 19, 2012

2-A-Days!

Good Monday morning to you all! It is 8:45 in the morning and I just finished workout numero uno for the day. Yes, it's time for me to start 2-a-days. What are 2-a-days you ask? It's okay if you don't know -- my very athletic soccer crazed friend had no idea -- so I felt pretty cool explaining to HIM something about working out lol. It's where you work out twice a day.

I could not fall asleep to save my life last night. I've been so used to staying up until midnight because I normally don't get up until 8:55 on weekdays and on weekends it varies with what friends are up here visiting. But, with how gorgeous it is outside now and with working later than normal, I set that alarm for 7:30. While I was waking up before the sun decided to shine its pretty little face on me -- thanks to the birds enjoying this gorgeous weather before anybody else -- the alarm went off and I hit snooze. I laid there thinking, "Okay, Jennifer, don't be lazy. Get your big ole bootie out of bed. You know how much better you'll feel once you get outside." And that's what I did. Got up, threw on the spots bra, munched on a FiberOne bar because my friend, life coach, and personal trainer out in Chicago, Stephanie from Step it Up With Steph taught me that you should eat 100 calories when you get up. You also don't want to go out on an empty stomach so a little bar does just the trick.

I started out with a nice walk, taking in the fresh air. Then I found myself in the wog. I wasn't planning on wogging today, but I've been walking for the past few days and figured it was good enough a time as ever. For those just joining me on the road to 100-ish, a wog is a walk/jog -- where I don't think I'm actually up to jog speed yet, but I'm moving faster than a walk. You're welcome.

I looked ahead, set a small goal since it's been a while since I took on the wog, and I passed it and kept going. It was that feeling I had in the fall when I set my goal and I went and I set another goal and just kept going for a long time shocking the hell out of myself. My 50 minute walk turned into being 35 minutes. 2.3 miles in 35 minutes. I'll take it for my first wog around the block...and actually, on the last home stretch, I felt like I was RUNNING. I put the pedal to the metal Fred Flinstone style. I'm sure if I saw myself from across the street I looked like I was just walking fast -- lol -- but man, I felt like I was flying! Felt GREAT.

Throughout the walk/wog/RUN I was my own personal trainer. Talking to myself in my head. It's funny -- last night my roomie and I were watching The Amazing Race and I was making comments on a lot of what was going on (mostly about that annoying chick who will not stop crying on every leg of the race and thinks her marriage is over because she just can't handle the pressure -- man that guy needs to drop her like I'm gonna be dropping these pounds-- hey oooo!) and she asked if I do this when she's not here LOL. I don't think I normally talk to myself...but then this morning I was doing just that. It brought me back to my days as a kid seeing tennis matches on TV or even here at Penn State I went to a few and I laughed at seeing the players yell at themselves. Like literally YELLING at THEMSELVES saying "COME ON! FOCUS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS! ARRGGHHHH!! " And I just thought that was crazy. But today, I was that person. Not verbally, but mentally. I was coaching myself. "Okay, Jennifer, you can do this. Keep it up. Let's wog again. Build up your metabolism. Get ready for that wedding and 10 year reunion." (Ugh, still can't believe my 10 year high school reunion will be this year....if it ever gets planned.)

I hope I just don't turn into a crazy person running down the street yelling at myself. But, if I do, if you hear a "WOOO!" down Waupelani Drive some day, just say, "You go, girrrrrrrrrrrl!"

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Monday, March 12, 2012

Found the Fat Pic!

While I was cleaning up my room, I finally found it. In the bottom of my Mary Kay box (and shameless plug...which everything I have is 50% off so if you need makeup, please buy away .... and Mother's Day is coming up *hint hint.* Tell me your email address and I'll send you the list of what I have available.) was the fat picture I had been looking for.

January-ish 1999

Holy moly mama. Check out that sweet double chin I am rocking....and the whale necklace (irony?) I was certainly in style my freshman year of high school. But, my dream was to look smokin' for prom. Every girl's dream. So, I made a chart. A thermometer like the one you see to the right of this blog and I hung it on my bedroom door. I think I wanted to lose 50 pounds. I have no idea how much I weighed in this picture, but I got moving. I'd go to school all day -- then have band and/or Key Club -- then working at the family restaurant. On weekends I'd waitress or cook all day, come home, change and go out for a run. Mom would always say, "What are you doing? You just ran your butt off all day at work!" But I knew I had a goal. I knew I was an awesome chick on the inside and I wanted that to show on the outside -- obviously not just for looks and to have the guys turn their heads my way, but I knew my family history and wanted to be healthy. Plus, college was right around the corner and I was ready to start a brand new life outside of Naples, Florida.

I remember literally skipping through the halls when the weight started going away. I couldn't stop smiling. I was obsessed with the scale, getting on it every morning before going to school and I swear I was dropping a pound a day. I remember my friend Maria saying one day how if I lost anything else I'd be down to nothing lol. Man, did that sound awesome. I went to work and picked up the oil for the fryer. I think it was 20 pounds? And I had lost 30 or so at this point. I remember picking it up and couldn't believe how much 20 pounds (or whatever it was) felt like. It was so heavy! Just blew my mind that I had melted that off my body. 

Working out was like a drug. I would start doing Tae Bo while cooking. Kicking and punching the air waiting for my orders to come up.  I'd go home and do sit ups and jumping jacks before going to sleep because I heard you actually burn calories while sleeping so I thought that would help speed it up even more. Not sure if that helped...but what's the saying.. "An object in rest stays at rest. An object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction." -- Newton.

It was time to go dress shopping. Ooohhh the beautiful choices out there! I found the perfect dress. Lavender. It was a littttttle on the tight side but I was more than determined to fit my butt in it.  My friend Whitney and I practiced doing our hair one day and went to try on our dresses again.

April 2001

Oh hey, I have a neck....ANNNND dimples -- I get them from my mamaaaaa.

I was in love. I found a dress I loved and fit in it. My hard work had paid off. I even scored a date...which, long story short, did not work out and had to take my sister instead lol. (I laugh now, but that was the downfall on when I started to put on the weight again.)

Me, Uncle Jerry, Heather

There we are on prom day. Too bad Uncle Jerry was a little too old to go to prom because he was ready to boogie on down.

So here I am. The pictures are back on the fridge. Spring is here and I can enjoy the outdoors. Last weekend I went on a three hour walk. It was fabulous. I planned on going on my normal 2.3 mile walk around the block but just kept going and going and going...for three hours instead of the 45 minutes. Walked a lot this weekend, too. Feeling those love handles go down again. Things are moving in the right direction.  Scale isn't moving but I "don't care."  I'm feeling SO MUCH BETTER than I did a few weeks ago which is the most important factor in this journey.

"Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip." -- Arnold H. Glasgow

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

3 Days, 3 Different Workouts

Another day down in the history books. It's been a great week. Had some of my favorite people visiting this weekend, cooked a big ole dinner -- including dessert, yes, dessert. Rocky Road Brownies -- but I only had a small piece. On Monday, I made up for it and I went to the gym for the first time this year. I planned to do my usual 30 minutes on the treadmill and figured I'd do the weight circuit. Well, once I got to 30 I thought I'd keep going to 45. Then I hit 45 minutes and set my goal for an hour, and I did it while watching HLN and listening to my iPod -- alternating my speeds between 3.0 and 3.5 -- just a nice fast walk, no jogging. Also, I played with the incline between 0 and 3.5. I felt great when I got off -- but was also starving so I skipped the weight circuit (it was full of ladies by this time anyway) so I went home and made some left over sloppy joes with ground turkey I had made a few days before and put it over some lettuce and caught up on my Ellen. Speaking of -- she has another contest to win two tickets to her birthday show. I wrote a pretty funny essay and sent in the Halloween pic of Molly and me dressed as Tony and Ellen -- which I got a little hate comment from a few blogs back. A, as in single -- and to that person, please go read the rest of the comments on that blog if you didn't and you will see my point along with others on that subject. Hopefully we'll hear something!!! Would be so great to get out to L.A. and see her show.

Last night was our second week at Zumba! It was the same play list with one other song we didn't do last week. And since nurse Molly took the splinter/pine needle out of my foot, I could really jump around and get the heart rate going. And since I was in a dancing band in high school, I could pick up the moves pretty easily -- except for two songs where I still have no idea what was going on. Maybe I'll catch on in a few weeks. Maybe.

Oh, I forgot to mention -- after all, it is weigh-in Wednesday -- no change again. BUT, at least I'm getting my butt up and moving again.

Which takes us to today....

I worked and then went to church *gasp* for the first time in quite a while few years. Sorry to all my die-hard Catholic family members out there. More apologies in that I felt a fool and couldn't remember any of the prayers except for the Our Father, Who Art In Heaven one. Can I get an AMEN for that at least? Anywho, as you all know by now, I am a Godmother to the cuteset lil thang so I have to go. And not that just I *haaaave* to, but  I should *want* to go. Mind, body, and soul, right? I just feel out of place in the Catholic church -- probably because I don't believe in half of what Catholics do, especially when it comes to gay marriage. I have so many gay friends and it hurts me that they don't have the same rights under God's eyes that we do. Separation of church and state, no? This topic could be a whole other blog...

After getting lost trying to find my way out of the church parking lot (no lie), and with my parents laughing hysterically on the other end of the phone, I made my way home and popped in my Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD. Oh did I dread pushing play, but I knew I'd feel better and wouldn't hear the wrath of Marc for "falling off the wagon" again. (Speaking of, you better give me some credit now lol.) So I pushed and pulled and kicked and punched my way through it and took a nice relaxing shower. Now I sit here and collect/distribute my thoughts to you. After my three straight days of getting back at it again, having that great, tingly feeling all over, my butt feels tighter and the love handles have receded a tad, just a tad.

I feel it's only appropriate that today's quote be from my favorite TV host..

"Laugh. Dance. Love." -- Ellen DeGeneres

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

A New Year Is Here



Hello my long, lost readers! Well, I suppose I was the one who was lost. Yes, I'm still here and doing okay after the holidays. Not going to lie -- I kind of fell off the wagon with going home. I did go for several 3-mile walks during my 10 days in Florida. But yeah...those Nieman Marcus $250 cookies my mom makes every year -- I had my fill of those with a nice cold glass of milk. I gained two pounds when I arrived back in Happy Valley, but I have lost that 2 again so I'm still even at 230. Woof. I had really hoped to lose more by time the wedding I'm in comes along in 3 weeks. I still have time to drop a few pounds. At least my dress will still fit and not fall off? But nothing else made me feel like writing when I was home -- in between working (Yes, I work from wherever I am) and then visiting with friends and family so I used that time to dedicate to them. 'Twas the season after all. Here are some pics from my holiday adventures!

Dad, Mom, Heather, Me

Dad does a great job every year!


My 1-day-shy-of-his-2-month-birthday Godson, Camden Christopher





Went to my first Zumba class last night with good ole Molly and her sister-in-law, Michelle. (Oh yeah, Molly moved in! Sister is down at her internship and visits us on weekends. Molly is working at an undisclosed place at undisclosed times making an undisclosed amount of money.) Boy, did we have fun! Well, I was at probably 85% fun since last week I stepped on a pine needle (twice...with both feet) in my apartment and didn't realize part of it was still stuck in my foot until Molly did some surgery on my foot today and got the rest of the needle out...using, oddly enough, a needle -- and toenail clippers. (TMI?)  Anywho, this page just froze as I tried to put a picture of it so if you're that curious at a pretty funny pic of her laying the lamp on the couch so she could see better, it's (say in Andy Cohen voice...more of a joke for my sister) here on my Facebook page.

I was ready for dinner the other night and wanted to use up some stuff here in the house. I knew I had some cans of chicken left over from football season so I figured I'd make some chicken salad. But, I wanted it to be healthier. So, I took a peek around the kitchen and saw some avocados. And my wheels got 'a turning. "Avocados are creamy -- wonder if I could use them instead of mayo? Sure, let's try it!" Now, I grew up working in my family's restaurant since I was 5 years old so I tend to know my way around the food groups and spices. I swear, my family MUST be Italian somewhere along the line. Here's what I did:

--drain 3 cans of 4.5 oz chicken, put in bowl
--cut open 2 avocados and squeeze the stuff out of the shell into the bowl
--3 celery sticks, washed and diced
--(here's where I stop measuring, FYI, and I'm just going to guess what I used) 2-3 tbs frank's red hot sauce
--few sprinkles of garlic salt
--dice up some jalapenos. I don't remember, a tbs or 2?
--some of the jalapeno juice -- probs a tbs or 2
--relish.  3-4 tbs??
--sprinkle some oregano
-- sprinkle some red pepper flakes (If you can't tell, I don't mind a little extra spice in my life.)
--few turns of fresh ground pepper
--a tbs or 2 of lemon juice so the avocado doesn't turn all brown

Then just stir that sucker around until it's nice and mixed. Heat up a few pieces of bread until it is lightly toasted. Slather it up on the bread with some lettuce and you have one amazing sammie. For lunch the next day, I put it on top of a salad with some carrots. Today, had it on a sammich with a piece of cheese. Amazing. And really nothing bad there. The bread I used was made by Fiber One so it's not the worst kind out there. But if you eat it on a salad I can't imagine there are too many calories. Any nutritionalists out there, feel free to weigh in. Ha, get it? Weigh in?  You know you laughed. I hear ya.

I think you're all caught up for now. Until next time...here's your quote thanks to my friend, Chad!



"The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore." - Dale Carnegie