One Year Later!

July 7th, 2014 marks one year when I decided I had enough of being fat - I was tired of being tired... didn't want chest pains anymore.  I wanted to feel healthy again.  I had a goal - #BikiniBy30.  It wasn't a desire to be a gorgeous beach babe in a bikini... but a bikini to me would mean "health."  It would mean I made better choices in my life.  It wasn't how I would look (well, ok, maybe I wanted to look better - who doesn't... but the main thing was that it would mean I took control of my life.)  What a year it has been.  I am down 35.5 pounds in one year! I ran two 5ks! I wobbled a little a few pounds but I am still on the downward spiral!

Started at 240... now down to 204.5!

The next few pictures are a little off because I started weighing in on the Publix Higi machine in August but here are the "official" computer results:

My weight loss - you can see where I plateaued a few times (mainly around Thanksgiving/Christmas... then went up a little when I started having some dinner dates - the old saying is true - when you start dating somebody, you gain weight! Never again (will I gain when dating lol.) This is probably my favorite graph of all time lol

BMI - still "obese" but closer to "overweight" 

Blood pressure... it is usually always normal.

Pulse - all over the place

Transformation! WAHOO!!!

I have purchased my bikini top - in a size 12!  It is a gorgeous coral color.  I saw it in Bealls in the fall.. and it was on sale this weekend so I went and snagged it up before it was sold out (like the bottoms were :(  )  Now I am working on getting my white belly tanned up so that it will be ready for public beaches sometime in my 30th year :)  Going to keep fighting!  Thank you to all who have asked me what was up when they had not seen an update in a while!  Thank you to all who have messaged me to ask what I was doing and wanted my help.  I'm glad I could help give you some advice on your journey.  Please don't hesitate to ask or if you need a little bump in motivation!  YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

"No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everybody on the couch." - Unknown

Dating and Purging

I am now down 36 pounds, in a size 14 and had an amazing, hot date last week! OW OWWWW!  Many of you know that I have been "online dating" - but not seriously.  I have had profiles up for years because it is pretty comical the messages I get - like disgusting comical.  I post all the great ones on my Instagram.  Anywho, so I don't want to get too far into it, only because it's new and I don't want to get my hopes up... but the date was great and he told me how pretty and cute I was and how attracted to me he was (this was a 6 hour date, by the way... after 3 weeks of messaging/texting/one phone call.)  I play it off to be confident... but I'm getting used to the "new me."  I wonder in the back of my head "Is he really attracted to me? Am I good looking? Is my body attractive? Or is he after one thing?"   Right now I am getting close to how I looked in college - where men did hit on me - so I'm thinking maybe this is for real.  It is hard to tell - and I'm not going to let my curious mind show what is going on in the back of my head.  I just enjoy the compliments and the PDA - yes, PDA!!  Here I am, with this ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS man walking hand-in-hand, arm-in-arm, little kisses in a very popular place in town and I AM LOVING IT.  Like he is showing me off and not afraid to show people who he is out with.  (Seriously, his online pics do not do him justice - even my guy friends were with me when we met the first time and had a man crush on him that they admitted to me later haha... so I got their approval.)  Actually, now that I'm thinking about it - this may be the first real PDA I've had.  With other guys, it was private.  Newbie and I were walking down the street and we would look at each other and smile and he would say, "We just had a moment"  and "We just had another moment."  -- talk about making a girl melt holy moly!  There is your little tidbit about my date - hoping for another one soon... which better happen.  We're still talking so there is hope lol.

Here are some updated pics!  The first one is with my friend Bryan back in July 2012 - YIKES.  I actually just sold that dress this week!

Bryan and me, July 2012

March 20, 2014

This was the dress I ended up wearing for me and newbie's first date! Speaking of clothes - a few weeks ago I had a little bit of an emotional/anxiety moment.  I went to try on some clothes from my bags of "skinny clothes" and one after one, they were fitting.  I had a pile on my bed of all these new clothes that fit me and I had no idea where to put them.  I left them on the floor... managed to find spaces for a few of them... until yesterday.  I finally got the urge to go through my drawers and put clothes that were too big in a garbage bag to sell.  Filled the bag to the tippity top and took it right away to Clothes Mentor and sold 6 items.  Made $19.40.  I just had anxiety over getting rid of these bigger clothes thinking one day I would need them again.  I finally said NO, I AM DONE WITH THESE.  It was a huge step. HUGE step for me to do this.  A friend at school told me to keep them for when I get preggo one day... I just don't want to see them again... though It was a good idea but NO that leaves it there for me to fall back so I couldn't.  BOO YAAAAA.  

Hope to have another update soon!  Keep working hard my friends!  THIS IS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!  AND I'M 14 POUNDS AWAY FROM MY HALFWAY POINT! YEEEEEEEEEEAH BOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

OH OH OH! BEFORE I FORGET!!!  I DID MY 2ND 5K LAST WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!  Didn't take it seriously - went with a group of friends.  It was the Color Vibe 5k and we walked a lot of it and talked - but we did jog a nice bit of it, too!  Two 5ks down!!! 

March 22, 2014

"Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment." -- Drew Carey

Psychology

Mercy me the changes that have happened the last three months!!  Right now I am down 28 pounds - 28-ish % of the way there!  I ran a 5k in September... finishing in just under an hour. I wogged my way to the finish - with tears at the end.  Such an accomplishment for myself!

I also did more shopping in my closet - emptying a bag and a half out of my clothes that were too small a few months ago, and even scored a few dates!  Which brings me to today's post: the psychology of weight loss, kind of.

My whole life, like many people, my weight has been up and down.  I've been the girl that guys hit on at the bar.. and the one that guys wouldn't give the time of day to.  You have possibly seen on television different stories of how a beauuuuuuutiful person will go in a store (insert your favorite Julia Roberts Pretty Woman movie quotes here...) and be waited on hand and foot.  That person will then leave the store, get all dolled up in a fat suit, go back in the store and be treated like trash.  Well, right now I feel like Julia Roberts after her little makeover and I'm telling people "BIG MISTAKE!".  In college, I wasn't thin by any means, but there were times when I looked comparable to other gorgeous girls I was out with and would get hit on.  Then, in more recent years I obviously put on the weight. I, myself, have been the same outgoing chica that you all know and love ;)  but I wasn't getting the same.. hmm.. feedback? as I was getting as a "more fit" version of myself.  I'm getting to the point now where guys are starting to talk to me again.  I can't help but wonder if these guys would have been the ones to hit on me 30 pounds ago.

One example I'll use is recently a guy from "my past" came into the picture.  30 pounds ago, I just moved back to town and was looking for friends to go out with like the good ole days.  He had basically fallen off the face of the earth/had plans/was tired <insert excuse here.>  Now, all of a sudden, I show up to the bar one night and he's hanging all over me saying "ooooh we go back so many years!"  We hung out the next day because I wanted to watch football... he asks why nothing ever happened with us... and then walked me to my car, kissed me and wanted to hang out later that week.  Umm.. what?!  Wherrrrrrrre were you a few months ago?  I can't help but think that my weight affected his feelings.  Unless, by chance, alllllllll those other times he really did have something going on.  Do I think that's the case? Not at all.  Mama didn't raise no fool.  I just find it very interesting and thought provoking.  I had this convo with one girlfriend that was kind of in the same boat as me.. and another one who is as thin as can be and the thought had never crossed her mind.

Another example is just people in general... they seem to be nicer to me.  Before, some would basically make plans in front of me and not invite me.. which is TOTALLY fine.. but now it's like "Oh, hey! You need to come out with us tonight!"  Or they shout from across the bar "HEY JEN!"  when I wouldn't get a wave before - but just some look.

My thin peeps may not understand this... or maybe you have something similar.  Anywho, as always, curious on your thoughts and if you've noticed the same!

Oh - I also tried a Power Plates exercise and the Range of Motion machine.  YouTube videos of those crazy contraptions...

"Persevere and you will win the prize."

No Bones About Me

So back at 230...again. +1 this week.  I need to hit the ground running, literally.  Was able to sneak out for one 3 mile walk while I was home in Florida. Did a workout tape with the sis last night, made stuffed green peppers with ground turkey -- added some hot chilis and pizza sauce (yes, pizza sauce...trying to get rid of stuff in the fridge. All tastes the same!)  They were yummo.  Have been eating oatmeal for breakfast with a banana the past two days and salads for lunch.  Last night was family dinner night. "Family dinner night" is something a few friends and I started in college around the holidays -- I'd make a big turkey day and xmas dinner before the breaks. Moving back, we do it on a weekly basis. It's a lot of fun to get together and eat some yummy food and watch Wheel of Fortune -- yelling at everybody who keep buying vowels instead of spinning. It finally bit somebody in the butt last night when it came to the final round before the last puzzle.

Speaking of TV -- ya'll watch the Victoria's Secret Nothing But Bones Fashion Show?  The girls are absolutely gorgeous until the camera pans from their face and goes down and you look at lack of meat. C'mon ladies. Eat more than a Tic Tac for your big meal of the day. Just bones and boobs doesn't turn guys on these days...and we finally have proof. A Penn State student -- male -- Ryan Beckler -- has spoken up.  Victoria, We've Got Our Own Secret.  While most girls were writing on their social media sites how awful they were feeling about themselves, I was feeling pretty good about my 11..well, now 10 pound weight loss knowing that I don't have a boney butt.  My goal is not to at all to go beyond what is healthy -- not saying those girls aren't healthy .... I'm no doctor that has evaluated them. But, I don't want to lose all my curves -- just a few love handles. And I want to be healthy. The lowest I ever got to was a size 10 my junior year of high school. My goal was to be thin by prom. I was pretty cute, if I do say so myself. Then I let myself go -- again. And here I am trying to get back to those size 10 Tommy Hilfiger shorts I have in my drawer at home. I don't think I could go any lower than a size 8 to look good for my body and build and that's cool, yo.

Junior Prom 2001 -- 10 years ago already? YIKES! With my uncle Jerry and sister, Heather

Man, that picture is some inspiration. I can't wait to get back to that weight!

My only thing about the article is -- how many of you good looking, built boys are with overweight chicks? Not many. So what's up with that?  Obviously, first thing you notice about a person is appearance. No brainer. We've all judged a book by the cover ... admit it. Sure, I have. But, I will still talk to the person to get to know them. You know how many times I've talked to a hot guy and then realized how dumb and not funny he was? That will make us ladies (and gents) think you aren't as attractive as we first thought. Same goes for an "unattractive" or "overweight" guy. You WILL become more "attractive" if you have brains and can make us laugh. 'Tis true.  It's happened to me before. So, gents, go talk to that overweight girl with the pretty face...she could be trying to get her life in order in many ways. You never know what you'll find. Could be a single, corny, funny, Penn State enthusiast, sports loving and screaming chick with a college degree like me *coughcough*

My friend Molly and I have decided to be more open about our dating options. We decided one night before going out that we were going to talk to any guy we saw -- started on the bus. We ended up meeting some really awesome...and interesting people that night. So, go give it a try. Go out tonight or this weekend and look at a group of gals/dudes. Just go start talking.  

One more quick story on that note -- there was a guy I met in college that I became pretty good friends with. In high school he was the hot jock. I was the quiet chick in the marching band.  In college, we were both journalism majors on our way to Ohio State for the weekend to cover the football game. We knew nothing about each other until we got in the car and started talking. Amazing just how much we had in common and could talk about different things. I just kept thinking to myself of all the other people I possibly passed up in life. Here I was, the quiet chick with the hot jock. Anyway, no, nothing ever happened -- he had a girlfriend and I was dating a couple other guys at the time anyway. Proof right there that men and women can just be friends, too :)  I do owe him a phone call, though. I'm kinda behind on that front -- sorry friends!

PS: My friend who is an up and coming amazing personal trainer and confidence building life coach made it on CNN on Thanksgiving for the 2nd year in a row!!!!!!! I've mentioned her in blogs past when I did her 30 day plan. She definitely gets to your mind and makes you think about your journey to a healthy life style. Definitely check her out -- and her newsletter is free! CONGRATS, STEPH!!!!!!!

"I wake up every day with the realization that this is it. There's only one shot at this life and I can either enjoy the ride and live it to its fullest and to my highest potential or I can stay the way I am" -- Unknown